What Moms Want To Know

Mothers Need Balance

Mothers know that balance is important to a healthy lifestyle.  We practically force it upon our kids.   How many times have you told your kids to...

"Go out and play, you've been in front of the computer long enough." 

"Eat your vegetables, you've had enough bread."

"Go to bed, you need enough sleep to do well in school." 

See?  Balance.  We know we need it.

Now, go look in the mirror, if you were your child what would you tell her? 

"Go play with your friends?"

"Get some more sleep?"

I wish it was easy, but it is just plain hard to achieve balance as a mother.  In fact, I think we totally lose sight of what it really means to lead a balanced life as soon as our first child is born.  I've been trying to figure out what balance means for me, as a relatively new mother.  There are three main areas where I struggle most with achieving balance.

They are... 

Family/Friends Balance
How much time should you spend with your friends?  I know how important it is to maintain social ties, but I also know how hard it is to find the time to do so.  And when you spend time with them?  As a stay-at-home-mom, I don't feel that I should zoom out the door as soon as my husband gets home from work.  I kind of feel that I should socialize during the day and be at home at night.  Is this reasonable?  I honestly don't know.  It's just what feels right to me, right now.  When our kids are older and can bathe and feed themselves, I might feel differently, but right now, it works for me.

(Not to mention that I am absolutely exhausted by 6PM and probably would not be great company anyway.)

Kid Time/Mommy Time
How do you balance time spend actively engaged with your children versus time spent doing things you actually need to do?  I know that it is important to spend time playing with your kids, but I also know it's important that they learn to entertain themselves, not to mention impotant to your mental well-being.  How do you determine what is a reasonable amount of time to spend on both?  I'm working on it.

Time Spent With Each Child
This in one I am about to learn about first-hand.  How much alone time do you spend with your children?  So far, my child has been an only-child, but he will soon become a big brother.  I've been thinking about how to maintain some sort of balance about time spent with each one.  I know how demanding newborns are, but I also know that my toddler will still need lots of love and attention from me.  How do you determine how much time is enough? 

I have no answers so far, really just questions, but as I explore and look for ways to achieve balance, I plan on posting about it here, so stay tuned. 

WFMW Keep Toy Directions Organized & Neat

If you have children, you have toys.  And those toys come with lots and lots of directions and extra parts.  Those directions and parts can be tricky to keep up with, and you never know when you are going to need them.  So, I found a way to keep them handy and in one piece.

First, I put them in a gallon size storage bag.

Then, I punch holes in the bag.

Finally, I clip them in a binder, and they are right where I can easily find them.

Not only does this help us put when a toy falls apart or a battery needs to be charged and we can't figure out where the battery even is.... but if you pass your toys on to friends, donate them, or sell them at consignment sales, then you can pass the directions along with the toy.  Certainly works for me!

For more tips, head back on over to WFMW!

Activities To Keep Young Children Busy Indoors

If you would like some ideas on how to keep your your children busy during these long, cold, rainy winter days, check out my post here, over at GNMParents.

Toddlers Learn By Playing...The Train Set Edition

We bought our son a starter train set for Christmas this year.  It's a figure 8 with a bridge the train can cross.  I was a little worried that it might be a little much for him, since he's not even two yet, but my worries were wasted.  

He loves his train set and as I have observed him play and played with him myself, I see that he is really learning from his it.

1) Gentleness
If he pushes the trains too hard or fast, they fall off the track, so I remind him to be gentle with the train.  He really gets it.  When I remind him, he immediatley becomes calmer and more gentle with the train.

2) Fine Motor Skills
Playing with the train set has helped his fine motor skills to develop.  This goes right along with learning to be gentle.  He is using basically the same skills.

3) Sharing
He and I take turns pushing and pulling the trains around the tracks.  And we talk about what we are doing, your turn, my turn, etc.

4) Colors
I will ask him to push the red "choo choo" around the tracks and he'll try to do so.  So far, he only knows "Yewow" but it's a benefit I had not thought about.  (Not that he could not learn his colors in many other ways, but it's working for us.)

5) Fun
Most importantly, he is learning all of these things while he is having fun.  He absolutely loves his train set, and that he is learning while he plays is just great. 

6) Independent Play
It is also helping with our Independent Play battle, he likes to sit and play with his trains, by himself!

WFMW Cures For Writer's Block

This post is, obviously, not about children or family, but since I blog about both, I think it pertains to this blog.  Since starting this blog, one of the biggest challenges I have faced is writer's block.  I have found a few ways to overcome it.

1) Simply Write
I have found that when I just sit down and write, new ideas emerge.  I jot them down in my notebook when I think of them so I don't forget them.  But it seems like one idea just merges into another and another.  So far this is the best solution I have found, to just begin writing.

2) Read
Read books, magazines, blogs, just read everything.  Just opening your mind to other's ideas will help inspire you.  It will also make your actual writing better. (I used to tell my students this all the time... the best readers are usually also the best writers.) 

3) Pay Attention To The World Around You
It' s used so much, I suppose it's cliche, but I'll say it anyway, "Write What You Know."  Whether you are a stay-at-home-mom or a working single girl, you have a unique way of doing things.  Pay attention to what those things are, and use them in your writing.  The other week, I was trying to come up with something for WFMW and I realized I had come up with ways to make living in a two-story house with a young child easier on all of us, so I wrote about it.   

4) Take A Break
If you have been sitting at your computer for an hour and nothing great is coming to you, get up.  Go for a walk.   Cook diner.  Play with your kids.  Sometimes a change of scenery is all you need. 

5) Quit Pressuring Yourself 
Oh, how hypocritical of me.  I am the world's worst at putting unneeded pressure on myself.  But, I have found that when I am able to relax, my writing flows much more freely.  

For more tips, head back on over to WFMW!

Early Bird Toddlers

We have battled our son's early-bird tendencies ever since he started sleeping through the night.  When we are successful, he will go several weeks sleeping until 7-7:30 and then, suddenly, he will be back to his 5AM wake-up call.  If he would lay with me in bed, watch a DVD, or even play quietly, this would be no big deal, but he is ready to go, ready to play, just plain ready when he wakes up. 

He is also in a pretty foul mood when he gets up early, which puts his mother in a pretty foul mood, which makes no one all that happy.  We have researched and experimented ways to get him to sleep in a little later and we found three things that did actually did work for us.

1) Putting Him To Bed Earlier
This seemed so counter-intuitive, but it did work when he was younger (around 12 months).  We had been putting him to bed between 8-8:30, and he was waking up around 5.  One morning (at 5:15) I was madly searching the Internet for some way to get him to sleep a little later and came across some information that suggested to try putting your Early Bird to bed earlier.  We did, and it worked almost immediately. We moved his bedtime to 7:30 and he started sleeping until about 7 every morning.  Weird, and I have no idea why it worked, but it did work.   

2) Crying It Out
I am not a big believer in letting kids cry it out.  I see nothing wrong with parents that do, it's just a technique does not work for me personally.  But desperate times and all that, right?  Anyway, at another point when our son was getting up really early, we decided to let him cry for 10-15 minute increments.  I was determined to make him stay in his crib until 6 AM.  It only took a couple of mornings for it to help.  He first woke at 5AM and we waited until 5:15 to get him.  We did this a couple of times and he started sleeping a little later and soon we were waiting until 5:45 to get him, and then suddenly he started sleeping until 7.  

3) (In Direct Opposistion to #1) Put Him To Bed Later
The time change back in the fall really confused my son 's sleeping habits. He went from sleeping soundly all night from 7:30-7:00 to waking in the middle of the night and getting up early.  Most people tell me their kids' adjust after a week or so.... but not my kid.  He only recently became a good sleeper again.  It took several weeks.  One adjustment I made was to his bedtime.  When he was younger putting him to bed earlier helped, now that he is a little older, moving his bedtime later by about twenty minutes worked. 

4)Teach Them To Use A Clock
My son is too young to do this, but when he gets a little older, I plan on teaching him to recognize numbers on a digital clock and not alllowing him out of bed until he sees a certain number, like 9:00.  Just kidding!  I wish....but I'll more than likely teach him to look for 7:00.   When he sees that 7 is the first number, then he can get out of bed.  I have heard of numerous people doing this and they say it works well, when the child is old enough. 

I have decided that, like most things parenting, adjusting sleeping habits calls for lots of patience and lots of trial and error.  Eventually something will work.

Menu Plan Monday, January 12

Monday: Broiled Tilapia Parmesan

Tuesday: Grilled Cheese With Tomatos, Peppers, and Basil served with (leftover) Beanless Chili
I'll make my little boy's grilled cheese with no peppers.

Wednesday: Barbecue Chicken Pizza and maybe Homemade Pizza Crust
We'll see if the crust actually gets made or not, I might be running into Kroger that day.

Thursday: Leftovers

Friday: Breakfast Food For Dinner (Eggs, Toast, and Fruit)
We love breakfast for dinner around here.

Perspective

Photo By Aussiegall

The other morning, as I was driving my almost-two-year-old to pre-school, we got behind a garbage truck.  It would stop every few feet to pick up someone's garbage.  We were going uphill, so there was no way to pass it safely; I just had to stop when it stopped.  As you can imagine that was quite aggravating to me...... but not to my little passenger.

When I heard "vrooom, vrooom," coming from the backseat, I glanced in my rearview mirror and saw the look of delight on my son's face.  "I have totally hit the jackpot!" was what his face said to me, "what could be better than getting directly behind the garbage truck?"  (Garbage-pick-up day, is, afterall, the highlight of our week right now.)

Perspective....

My Toddler's Journey To Independent Play, Part 3

        

Photo ByCTD 2005

We have officially started.  We're working hard and so far, not too much success, but it will come, I know it will.

What We're Doing:
We'll get out a toy together (usually Little People since he really likes them) and both of us will sit on the floor and play.  After a couple of minutes I'll move back and watch.  (At first I was sitting on the couch and that did not work, the floor works better right now.)  He lasts, I am embarrassed to say about 30 seconds-1 minute before he realizes I am not there and quits playing.  But, we have to start somewhere, I suppose.  And this is my fault, I keep reminding myself.  So, my plan is to continue like this until he sits and plays independently for 4-5 minutes.  Then I guess I'll move up to sitting on the couch while he plays.

Right now, I'm not giving much positive reinforcement because if I speak to him he realizes I am not right there next to him.  Soon (I hope) I will praise his efforts to play alone.

Where We Are: He will sit and play for 30 seconds to one minute.  

Our Goal: Twenty Minutes of Independent Play     

My Foray Into Blogging (Blogging Series Part 1)

I am a relatively new blogger.  I started this blog about three months ago and am thoroughly enjoying it.  Currently, I am simply trying to build content, learn all that I can about blogging, and slowly build traffic.  I have found all three to be much harder than I ever anticipated. 

When I began this blog, I knew that one day I would like to write a series on blogging, but felt that as a newbie, I had no right to do so.  However, I have since decided that it might be fun to document this learning experience.  I hope that there are newbies like me that might benefit from it, and that I may  learn some things in the process.  I have already learned quite a bit, so I am not beginning this series from a place of total blogging ignorance, but from a place where I know that I have much more to learn.      

I'll start with why I began this blog.  I taught middle school for seven years before having my son and becoming a stay-at-home mom.  While both jobs (and being a SAHM is a job) require skill, intelligence, and patience, they do not always challenge the real thinker in you.  (In other words, I felt like my brain was slowly decomposing.)  Anyway, as an English teacher, I enjoy writing and as a mom I enjoy kids, and so the opportunity to start a Mom Blog just spoke to me.  So I thought about starting a blog for a year jumped right in.  And I'm glad I did.

I have learned so much in the past few months.  My brain is slowly returning to its previous state, and I feel that my writing skills are slowly returning to where they once were.  I am trying new recipes (so that I have something to post about) and looking for new activities for my son and I (so that I have something to post about). So all in all, I think my family as a whole is benefitting from this little blog.

I have several more post ideas to continue this series, as I constantly learning about and discovering new blogs that teach me more everyday, and plan on sharing them in the days and weeks to come.